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If a man does these 10 things, he really respects you



New relationship and wondering if you’re being treated the way you truly deserve?

The question is a common one because it’s all too easy to turn a blind eye to disrespectful behavior when you’re in the grips of lust, a tad infatuated, or feel like you’re falling in love.

However, it’s just as easy to tell if a guy respects you when you look for these signs.

If a man does these 10 things, he really respects you:

1. He’ll give you his full attention

This one seems really obvious, but not when one of the most common issues women have, is feeling a lack of attention from a guy. Be careful to separate neediness from the right to feel wanted, but, when a man respects you he does want to see you, talk to you, answer your calls right away, and fully engage when you’re together.

If he often cancels plans, neglects to respond back to messages, doesn’t initiate dates or texts his mates during romantic dinners, respect for you isn’t really at the top of his mind. You deserve the attention you want to give in a relationship and if he’s not available — physically, emotionally, or mentally — move on and invest your valuable time in someone who is.

2. He’s interested in your opinions

There’s nothing worse than voicing an opinion during a conversation and being immediately shut down. Whether he agrees with you or not, a man who respects you will be interested in what you have to say and eager to debate the finer details of it. He’ll be curious about how your mind works and interested to delve right in.

In fact, he’ll regularly ask for your opinion and take it very seriously. Just like women, most men want the company of someone who can offer advice, different perceptions, and mental stimulation. If you’re with a guy who either laughs when you offer a point of view or dismisses it off-hand, not only is he showing a lack of respect, he’s got a lot of growing up to do.

3. He doesn’t try to control you

When you think about controlling behavior, whether it’s from a guy, a boss, or a parent, the foundation of it is generally fear or insecurity. For example, a boss might throw his or her weight around because they’re on a power trip that covers up their self-esteem issues. A parent may try to control your actions because they’re fearful something bad will happen to you.

In the case of relationships, controlling men use the behavior as a form of protection, for themselves. While this often manifests in a display of power and strength, it comes from a deeply ingrained place of fear, insecurity, or feelings of unworthiness. In the beginning, controlling you might mean simple actions like ordering your meal without asking what you want or trying to influence your decisions.

Already, this shows a lack of respect because a guy who cares trusts that you know how to run your own life. Over time, these small actions can turn into jealousy, possessiveness, manipulation, and even violence. Always respect yourself enough to keep control of your own life, firmly in your own hands.

4. He opens up emotionally

It may be a stereotype that men find it hard to open up emotionally, but, alas, sometimes it’s true. Whether it’s society’s constrictions, upbringing, or insecurity, the world just isn’t as accepting of men displaying emotions, as it is of women. Therefore, when a guy does open up to you about his past, his worries, or his fears, you can be sure he respects you enough to be vulnerable with you.

This has as much to do with trust, as it does with respect. In fact, it’s hard to trust someone without respecting them, because you don’t feel secure enough to do so with someone whose opinion doesn’t count. So, while it might not seem like a big deal when he tells you about how his dad made him feel insignificant, know that it’s a sure sign of emotional respect.

5. He encourages you to succeed

Having respect for someone makes you feel like you’d do anything to help them succeed. You admire the traits that make them who they are, you like feeling proud of them and you want to encourage them toward further success. This is even more prominent at the beginning of a relationship when those very things are what attract you to someone in the first place.

If your guy often throws cold water on your enthusiasm, isn’t interested in encouraging or discussing your goals or, worse, sabotages efforts to improve yourself, he isn’t displaying respect. More than likely, he’s jealous and trying to keep you from spreading your wings, so you’ll fit better into his own plans. That’s your cue to fly away.

6. He’s honest about relationship expectations

Whether you’ve only had five dates or you’re about to hit the year mark, a man who respects you will openly discuss your relationship. Sometimes though, this might mean he’s honest about the fact that he doesn’t want anything serious right now.

However, as long as he’s putting that on the table, you’ll know he respects you. He’s not interested in deceiving you about his feelings, just to keep you hanging in there for his own pleasure. In that case, it’s entirely up to you to stay, or go, if his ideas don’t match your own.

He won’t be scared of discussing where you stand in terms of exclusivity, regular weekend plans, or when to meet each other’s parents, either. No matter what comes of the discussions, a guy who respects you will offer honest, open opinions, to the best of his ability.

7. He wants you to be involved in each other’s lives

If you’ve been seeing a guy for a while and you spend a bit of time together, it makes sense that eventually you’ll meet each other’s friends, family, or workmates. When he respects you, he’ll want to check out all the different aspects of your life and find out what makes you tick.

He’ll also want you to join him, by taking you to work functions, hanging out with his mates, or watching him play soccer on the weekend. On the other hand, if you’re mainly in the dark about a guy’s life, like you don’t know the names of any of his friends or he’s secretive about what he does during the week, be wary of the fact that he might not think you’re worth the investment – which is disrespectful, to say the least.

8. He’s always interested in your pleasure — in and out of bed

If a guy is, for example, only interested in sex and doesn’t respect you at all, he’s going to behave selfishly most of the time. This extends to the bedroom, where he’ll probably be less concerned with rocking your socks off and more focused on getting his rocks off.

A guy who respects you will pretty much put you first, most of the time. He’ll make sure you like the restaurant he’s chosen, give you his jacket when it’s cold, try to make you laugh, and be considerate of your feelings. In bed, it’ll be his utmost pleasure to take you to the finish line, over and over again. Always remember, that you deserve no less.

9. He doesn’t get jealous

Jealousy is a bit confusing, because feeling the effects of the green-eyed monster, in a small way, isn’t necessarily a bad sign. After all, if another man hits on you and your guy feels a bit jealous, he’s also reminded of your value and how lucky he is to have you, so he kind of likes it at the same time.

However, there’s a big difference between this and a man who wants to know where you are all the time, goes through your phone, or has a fit every time you go out without him. These types of actions scream disrespect because he clearly doesn’t trust you or value your privacy.

10. He’s your number-one fan

Think about someone in your life who you really respect. Maybe it’s your mum, a former teacher, or your best friend. When you respect someone, you really are their number one fan and want to see them happy, healthy, and confident in life. A guy who respects you will be in your corner, as your number one fan, in just the same way.

He won’t criticize you, try to make you feel bad about your decisions, or talk you out of dying your hair black because he likes blondes better. He’ll see beyond all that to the real you and won’t selfishly try to bend you to his own desires. He’ll understand and value what he’s found in you, whether it’s a casual romance or a long-term relationship.

And that’s the sort of treatment you truly deserve.

Eye witness to any social issue, occurance or any form of information you would like to share, kindly send via Email : or WhatsApp : 0553506856 / 0246319949


Eating late at night does not automatically result in pot belly – Nutritionist



A nutritionist has debunked the widely-held notion that late-night eating is a major cause of pot belly.

Speaking to Jonnie Hughes on the health segment of the 3FM Sunrise Morning Show, Nutritionist Fred Amese said “people tend to say that when you eat late at night, you would get pot belly; it is not true.”

He went on to clarify that the problem is not about the time you eat. The problem is about the duration between your last meal and your sleeping time.

“So you can say oh for me I eat my supper at 6pm. I don’t eat late at night. If you eat at 6pm and 6:15pm you are sleeping and someone eats at 11pm and sleeps at 1am, you the one eating at 6pm has done nothing. You would develop a pot belly and the one eating at 11pm would not have a pot belly” he explained.

He stressed that the issue about late night eating is not about the time per se. It is about the duration between the time one eats and the time the person goes to sleep.

“So don’t worry yourself about oh it’s late I won’t eat. If it’s late and you are hungry, eat. But make sure that you wait enough, move around, do some brisk walking, etc” Fred Amese stated.

The nutritionist also noted there are some people who sit in front of their television to have  their supper and fall asleep immediately for the television to even end up watching them instead of them watching the television.

“Such people would develop pot belly even if that eating is done at 6pm” he cautioned.

Eye witness to any social issue, occurance or any form of information you would like to share, kindly send via Email : or WhatsApp : 0553506856 / 0246319949
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7 poor reasons I’ve had sex with the wrong guy



Here’s the truth: I’ve had sex with some men who didn’t deserve to have me. To be honest, I didn’t have the greatest of reasonings. I did it for some very poor reasons.

No matter how many times I try to ignore or forget about it, I have to take ownership of the choices I’ve made. And despite what happened, I know I’m not the only one who made choices like these. 

I was trying to convince him to date me. 

I won’t deny that there were sparks between us and that made me feel special. However, I knew he wasn’t looking for anything serious. I was settling for something that wasn’t there because I liked the temporary happiness he gave me. I thought sleeping with him was going to change his mind and I tried to convince myself that he will change his mind. But I was wrong, and I was left heartbroken for trying. 

We were dating. 

I thought sleeping with him was part of the relationship that I’ve signed up for. The insecure voice in the back of my mind convinced me he’d leave if I didn’t give him sex. Even though I wasn’t ready or didn’t really want it, I always gave him permission to my body. Sex felt like a chore, not a luxury. 

I was feeling insecure. 

I slept with people just because I wanted to feel pretty, valued, and wanted — I needed a reminder of my worth, and I thought meaningless sex would give me all I was searching for. Instead, it made me feel worse about myself. The voids I filled while they filled me sickened me the moment it was over. Ultimately, I was left feeling like an insecure mess. It was a waste of a kill count number. 

I was drunk. 

It was a good night out with my friends, and I danced with someone I found attractive. We shared drinks, an Uber to his place, and his bed for the night. I woke up with instant regret from the sloppy sex from the night before. So I sloppily ran away from that memory the next morning. 

I was trying to distract myself from reality. 

I didn’t want to face my problems. To combat that, I got tangled in someone’s sheets for a blissful afternoon — it seemed like the right move at the time. The sex wasn’t always horrible, nor was it spectacular. But it did the trick even if it left me in a moment of sadness or confusion afterward. 

I was trying to get over someone.

Rejection hurts, we all know that. In my lowest of moments when I felt unattractive and unlovable, I wanted to feel wanted. And I found that in someone who only wanted me for a short moment. 

He was hot. 

Although it may not be a bad reason, sometimes you just want to conquer a quest. Sometimes it’s truthfully humorous when someone attractive finds you attractive, so you ask yourself, “Why waste an opportunity?” Sadly, there were times he wasn’t the greatest in bed and I was left disappointed. But at least I can say I banged a hot guy, right? 

Ultimately, my experiences reflected what I was feeling at that specific moment in my life. I wasted a lot of time and effort on these useless people who, truthfully, didn’t even care about me. I hated the feeling of being used, but I continuously put myself in that position only to get the same outcome. Nevertheless, it’s okay to accept your past and learn from it. After the continuous pattern I was putting myself in, I learned how horrible it made me feel so I changed my ways. And I know other people can too. You just have to be willing to change.

Eye witness to any social issue, occurance or any form of information you would like to share, kindly send via Email : or WhatsApp : 0553506856 / 0246319949
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To kiss or not – the taboo around public affection in India



Delhi Metro network, a symbol of sleek, air-conditioned train travel in modern India, seems to have become a hotspot for public displays of affection.

Last week, a video of a young couple kissing on a train in the capital sparked a row after it went viral on social media. 

The video, which shows a woman lying on a man’s lap as they kiss, prompted the Delhi Metro Rail Corporation (DMRC) to ask commuters to report any “objectionable behaviour” they noticed. 

The corporation also promised to “intensify the number of flying squads” to monitor such instances.

The video and the criticism it received online have sparked a fierce debate around moral policing and public obscenity in the country.

But the definition of “objectionable behaviour” is a slippery one. 

For example, some of the responses to the DMRC on social media are quite tame by most standards – a young couple sitting together with the woman resting her head on the man’s shoulder.

At the same time, no one thinks a train coach is an appropriate place for masturbation. Last month, a video of a man performing the act in a Delhi Metro coach prompted a stern warning from the Delhi Commission for Women. 

While a majority of people would agree that masturbation is not acceptable in public places, it can still be tricky to draw boundaries between sexual acts and acts of physical affection, especially when performed in collective spaces.

PDA (as public display of affection is often called here) has a long and convoluted history in India, a country dogged with the cliché of giving the world the Kamasutra – an ancient book on erotic love – while frowning upon onscreen kisses. 

In 1981, when then Prince Charles visited a film set in India, actress Padmini Kolhapure welcomed him with a garland and an unscripted kiss on the cheek. That made her famous as “the woman who kissed Prince Charles”, though she said in an interview years later that “it was no big deal”. 

But it could have been. In 2007, when Hollywood superstar Richard Gere gave Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty a peck on the cheek at an AIDS awareness event, he was accused of insulting Indian culture. 

Gere claimed he was trying to send the message that kissing was safe, but a case was registered against Shetty for performing an “offensive act” in public.

When Shetty was finally cleared of charges in 2022, the court said it seemed that she had been a “victim of alleged acts” of Gere. 

Over the past few years, onscreen kisses and acts of intimacy have become more common in Indian films and web shows.

But in a country as populous as India – where most young people still live with their families – privacy is always an issue. 

Couples seek out moments of romantic togetherness in gardens, parks and even in ancient monuments. 

In Kolkata, the grounds of the grand marble edifice to Queen Victoria have traditionally been a haven for courting couples. After dark, the police routinely blow the whistle to disperse couples sitting behind bushes, all under the stony gaze of the monarch who gave the world Victorian morals.

But couples who try to get close in private run into other roadblocks – some hotels in the country even insist on seeing marriage certificates before renting out rooms to couples. 

Ironically, same-sex couples often do not face the same problem in renting a hotel room that a heterosexual couple might. Men holding hands or walking with their arms around each other has never raised eyebrows in India the way it does in the West. Indians have been touchy-feely in public, even if they frown on PDA between a man and a woman.

Section 294 of the Indian Penal Code punishes anyone causing annoyance to others in a public place by obscene acts, including obscene songs or ballads. 

But the problem lies in the definition of obscenity itself. 

The great Urdu writer Saadat Hasan Manto was charged with obscenity six times, both in British and independent India. In 2017, actor Milind Soman was charged under Section 294 after he posted a picture of himself running naked on the beach to mark his 55th birthday.

Earlier this year, the idea of obscenity in India even became the subject of an acclaimed off-Broadway play, Public Obscenities, which explores queer relationships in Kolkata. 

The title draws from Section 292 of the Indian Penal Code. Its playwright Shayok Misha Chowdhury said in an interview that he was intrigued by what constitutes obscenity under the law, “what it considered taboo and what is declared erotic” and the “porosity of what is private and what is public”. 

While celebrity cases grab eyeballs, PDA has always been a battleground for young people trying to assert their freedoms against sections of the population that are opposed to the practice. 

It has led to vigilantism during Valentine’s Day and also counter protests such as the “Celebrating Love” event held by students at the engineering institute IIT-Madras in Chennai city to oppose moral policing.

Several court judgements have ruled that kissing in public is not an obscene act per se. A lawyer defending a married couple in 2008 said it can only be obscene if it “encourages depravity or annoys the public”. 

But it’s tricky to legally draw that line. As lawyer Saurabh Kirpal observes in the anthology Sex and the Supreme Court: “The law is shaped by society and in turn shapes it… The problem with changing the law is that the law is framed by the very people who represent society.”

That leads us right back to the Delhi Metro, where one person’s PDA might well be public obscenity for another.

Eye witness to any social issue, occurance or any form of information you would like to share, kindly send via Email : or WhatsApp : 0553506856 / 0246319949
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