In order to meet success, long-term relationships do take work. Many couples share in the sense that their relationships lack fulfilment after a period of time.

While turmoil in any relationship is part of the course, long-term feelings of neglect or no romance in a relationship are not.

Indeed, partners often wonder why their relationships fail, where those loving feelings have gone, or why they feel under-appreciated by their partners. This generally happens after the “honeymoon period”.

In some cases, couples may not experience a relationship without romance for years. But what about the couples that never seem discontented, whose displays of admiration for one another are apparent even after decades of marriage?

Indeed, they are doing something right. Happily married couples with a long history together, have managed to preserve some of the elements that were present while they were in the early stages of courtship.

Consider the time when you and your current partner were dating before things got serious. Though you had a lot of fun, you were probably putting in a great deal of effort to keep them interested.

What were those things you did differently, and how does the past compare with the present?

Is romance necessary in a relationship?

Romance is one of the most crucial elements of happiness in relationships. The importance of romance in a relationship cannot be trivialized.

Still, many partners do not really know how important is passion in a relationship or the benefits of romance.

Understanding how important affection is in a relationship is a necessary first step for those interested in rekindling love.

But what are the little things you did as a part of your marriage romance to get his attention, to keep him interested, to win him over? We’d be willing to bet those things are no longer happening.

We often do not realize how much work we were putting in in the beginning, nor do we understand why romance is important in marriage, and how a lack of romance can lead to an emotional breakdown and stagnancy.

What is the importance of romance in a relationship?

To understand its importance, first of all, we need to know what romance is. Generally, romance includes one or more of the following:

1. Small gestures: That convey affection, adoration, thoughtfulness, and love
2. Activities or actions of novelty: Actions executed for no other purpose than to enhance feelings of joy and connectedness
3. Class: Activities or events that add a touch of high living.
4. Any actions which bring a couple closer or show thoughtfulness and adoration

Romance needs to be a normal and necessary part of our lives.

And the truth is there are no secrets to romance – you need to know what works for your partner; what makes them happy and apply them as often as you can to sweeten your relationship.

Sustaining a marriage demands work, cooperation, and commitment. A couple is already accustomed to these things but marriage does not have to be all about ‘hard work’.

You are in a marriage because the bottom line is — you love and cherish your partner.

When you decide to use romance to enhance your marriage, you decide to use it as a tool to show that you care, that your marriage and partner are worth the effort.

These small acts collectively will make your relationship stronger, healthier, and make it last longer. These are only a few advantages of romance in a relationship.

How to rekindle or add romance to a relationship

Years after marriage there are couples who still struggle with the idea of how to be romantic in a relationship. Creating romance in a relationship becomes easy when you become mindful of the below:

Bonding

Created through experiences that bring partners closer. This can be brought about through acts of affection, gift-giving, reminiscing, meaningful conversation, laughter, and intimacy.

Fun

Romance should be a joyful experience; and is often reflected through enjoyable activities such as going to the movies, the carnival, attending parties together, or playing games.

Humour

Humour is a major element to most romance. Couples with a good sense of humour will enjoy cheesy adages, funny greeting cards, comics, and laughing at the absurd.

Nostalgia

Being together for a long time, couples are able to share memories by reflecting on the past. Going through old photos or revisiting past hang-out spots can bring back old feelings and thus, enhance bonds.

Intimacy

Sex, romance, and relationships, all go hand in hand, sex in romantic relationships is integral to its health.

Introducing new elements into your sex life, or simply engaging in sexual activities more often, will certainly increase romance. Although romance may lead to intimacy, intimacy and romance can fuel one another.

Adventure

Spontaneity – out-of-the-ordinary activities that promote a sense of adventure, such as hiking in the woods together, getting “lost” on a drive, or doing something taboo- like visiting an adult book store- are great ways to create romance through the adventure.

Respect

Romancing your lover should convey respect and reciprocity.

Appreciation

Romance invites appreciation, likewise, appreciation will create the impetus to initiate romantic activities with your partner.

Passion

It involves strong feelings of enthusiasm, and joy, and powerful or compelling feelings of love and desire.

Romance feeds the elements that comprise a loving relationship. Without it, desire and adoration for one another will almost assuredly fade, rendering the relationship dull and mundane.

Understanding the importance of practising romance in your relationships will add a spark to your love life, prolong feelings of connectedness & result in your ultimate happiness for years to come.

Here are 10 everyday romantic ideas to try:

Now that we have established the importance of affection in a relationship, here are some everyday tips and ideas that can help you become more romantic:

1. Get your spouse a wristwatch. Inscribe it with: “I always have time for you.”
2. Buy a lottery ticket. Give it to your spouse with a little note that says: “I hit the jackpot when I married you!”
3. Write “I love you” on the bathroom mirror with a piece of soap/their lipstick.
4. When out in public, wink/smile at your spouse from across the room.
5. Ladies: Send your hubby a letter sealed with a kiss.
6. Send your spouse a trophy for being the “World’s Best Lover”? Wink, wink.
7. Pick flowers for them from the side of the road.
8. Don’t just go out to a movie on Saturday. Call your spouse from work on Wednesday and ask for a date. Best way to perk up a dull week.
9. Have “your song” playing on the stereo when your spouse returns home from work.
10. Cook together.

From small gestures to grand ones, there is a lot that you can do to rekindle the romance in your relationship. All that matters is your ability to make those efforts.

Let’s be friends!” We’ve all heard it before.

Think back, do you remember hearing these words over and over and not knowing what to do and feeling frustrated, mad, and going through a hard time accepting it?

They wanted to be your friend, but for some reason, you twisted and turned it and did everything you could to try to convince them that being friends was not what you wanted. You wanted a relationship. Take heart as it may not be another case of unrequited love.

Developing a friendship before the relationship is eventually a good thing for both of you.

After trying to convince them, you may have finally decided it was time to give up and walk away. Yet it took you a long time to let go.

Many people have been through this. Many people want to be with someone who doesn’t want a relationship and only wants to be friends or just be friends before dating.

So is keeping a friendship before a relationship good or bad? Let’s find out.

What it means to be friends before dating

Friendship is the first thing you need and very important when it comes to developing a relationship. Being friends gives you the opportunity to get to know the person for who they are and gives you the opportunity to learn things about them that you would not have learned otherwise.

When you jump into a relationship without being friends first, all types of issues and challenges may occur. You begin to expect more from the person and sometimes set unrealistic expectations.

By putting friendship before a relationship, you can easily decide whether they are the perfect one to date or not as there will be no pretense and more open space to talk about things that matter.

Friends first, then lovers

Why put so much pressure on someone because of your own expectations and desires? When you develop a genuine friendship, there are no expectations. You both can be your true selves. You can learn everything you want to know about each other. You don’t have to worry about pretending to be someone you’re not.

Your prospective partner can relax in knowing that they can be themselves, and not worry about if you’re going to ask about a relationship.

Developing a bond of friendship before a relationship may be better than just letting attraction get the better of you and discovering later that you can’t even be good friends.

You can date other people

When it comes to a friendship, there are no strings attached and you are free to date and see other people if you like. You’re not tied or obligated to them. You don’t owe them any explanations for the decisions you make.

If your prospective partner asks you to just be friends with them, take it in your stride, and give them just that. Give him friendship without expecting it to blossom into a relationship. You may find that being friends is for the best and that you don’t want to be in a relationship with them.

It’s better to find out during the friendship phase that you don’t want a relationship, instead of finding out later, when you have connected emotionally with them. Being friends before lovers also ensures that the initial infatuation wears off.

You are able to see the other person for who they are and also present your real self to them, which is an excellent foundation for a long-term relationship.  In any case, friendship in such a relationship is also important to keep the cogs turning.

Scarlett Johansson and Bill Murray did it (Lost In Translation), Uma Thurman and John Travolta did it (Pulp Fiction) and best of all Julia Roberts and Dermot Mulroney did it classic style (My Best Friend’s Wedding).

Well, they all placed friendship before relationship and their platonic bond worked out just fine. And it can happen just that way in real life too. Only if building a friendship before a relationship is a priority for you.

Building a friendship before dating

Being friends before dating is never a bad idea as it means that there is nothing superficial about the relationship. In fact, the chances of having a successful relationship also go up if you are a friend first.

But before forming a friendship before a serious relationship, you may have genuine confusion and questions like ‘how to be friends first before dating’ or ‘how long should you be friends before dating.’

Well, it all depends on what your initial chemistry is like and how it develops as you get to know each other. For some, the transition from friends to lovers happens within months while others may take years.

So, the next time they ask you to just be friends, consider saying okay, and remember that this is an opportunity for you to get to know them without being emotionally tied. It’s not the end of the world to put friendship before the relationship. 

Though it’s not what you want or expect, there’s nothing wrong with being their friend and accepting that this is what they want. Many times, being friends is the best option.

Here are 12 reasons why accepting let’s be friends, is the best thing that could happen to you, because-

1. You get to know their real self and not who they pretend to be

2. You can be yourself

3. You don’t have to be accountable

4. You can date and get to know other people if you want

5. You can decide if being friends is better than being in a relationship with them

6. You don’t have to be under pressure to be yourself or be someone else

7. You don’t have to convince them to like you

8. You don’t have to convince them that you are the “One”

9.You don’t have to talk about entering a relationship with them

10. You don’t have to answer their calls or texts every time if you really can’t or don’t want to

11. You don’t have to obliged to communicate with them every day

12. You don’t have to convince them that you’re a good person

The bottom line

Putting friendship before a relationship gives you the opportunity to be free, free to be who you are, and free to choose to be in a relationship with him or not.

Hopefully, after reading this, you will realize that “Let’s Be Friends” is not such a bad statement, after all.

We all have some hope or dream that we will one day find “the one” and have the kind of healthy relationship that lasts a lifetime. 

Dating and relationships have changed significantly over the last few decades.

Here are some relationship, dating and marriage statistics to give you a better picture:

• Men and women are older than ever when they marry for the first time. In 2021, the average age of first-time married men was 30.6; for women, it was 28.6 — an increase of more than two years for both since 2010.
• Cohabitation increased for couples by 29% from 2007-2016, according to data from the Pew Research Center.
• The No. 1 argument topic in relationships and marriages is money.

With all of the changes in modern dating and marriage, there are still ways to tell if your relationship has what it takes to last.

Trends in dating and relationships may change, but actions and behaviors that indicate a healthy relationship remain relatively consistent over time.

Here are the tell-tale signs your love will last

1. Their friends are your friends

Their friends include you and welcome you to the group. Your partner is thrilled about it and wants you to feel comfortable around their friends.

Introducing you to their friends is a huge step in relationships and usually means they’re taking the relationship seriously.

2. You make each other laugh

Trust me, this isn’t as easy as it sounds. Some people have dry humor that isn’t funny to others and some are plain goofballs which others may not find funny.

When you can both make each other laugh, it’s a sign of understanding each other at a different level.

3. Arguments are constructive

This means that you are able to argue about things while making it a productive discussion as well. There is no name-calling or manipulation happening.

When there are arguments, something is learned from them and used to prevent anything else from happening, depending on what the argument was about.

4. You can have fun together doing absolutely nothing

You don’t always have to go out to have fun. It means something very special when you’re able to sit around the house with your partner not doing anything major and still enjoying each other’s company.

It’s a different level of intimacy you experience when you’re together and not doing anything “out on the town.” You get to see each other in a whole different light.

4. You can have fun together doing absolutely nothing

You don’t always have to go out to have fun. It means something very special when you’re able to sit around the house with your partner not doing anything major and still enjoying each other’s company.

It’s a different level of intimacy you experience when you’re together and not doing anything “out on the town.” You get to see each other in a whole different light.

6. You are grateful for one another and make it known

You let each other know how appreciative you are to have each other in your lives.

Not only do you tell each other how grateful you are to one another but you also show it through little and random acts of kindness.

7. You are intimate with each other

You love kissing and touching each other whether it be a hug, cuddling or something more physical.

It’s almost as if you are still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, even though you’ve been together for years.

8. You discuss the future

You’ll notice whether your partner constantly talks about you and the relationship only in the present tense and not inclusive of the future.

If your partner doesn’t involve you in future plans (such as future activities or outings), they’re probably not anticipating being with you for a while.

On the other hand, when your partner discusses the future with you and wants you to be a part of it and values your opinion on the future, you have a keeper!

So, how do you know if this is a love that will last? What does lifelong love look like?

How do you know when to invest your time and energy into a relationship or kick them to the curb? How much time do you give before you breakup or move in with them?

These are all valid questions to which I, unfortunately, do not have the answers. I wish I did, but every person is different and every couple and relationship is different. 

But if your partner is showing the telltale signs listed above, they are a keeper who truly cares about you and your relationship stands a chance of lasting a lifetime.